staying in the fire

A friend recently told me about something that was making him unhappy. He works for an event production company in which his role is to first find clients and sell his company’s services, and then to execute the projects he sells. In this industry, one project rarely leads to another, which means he starts from square-one every time – he likened it to the stress of finding a new career every few months. The worst part is that after all his hustle, he only gets a small percentage of the commission.

Identifying the source of a frustration is a powerful step, but people often stop there – they think that once they know what’s wrong, their mental work is done – the only option is to take action to change it. Yet in reality, there are two options – change the situation, or change yourself. Changing yourself can be more difficult, yet often is a longer term solution.

In his situation, he could quit his job and find a new one. This choice has its own risks, but they’re predictable. His other option is to stay in his job and find a way to thrive, regardless of the situation. Every ‘adversity’ offers us an opportunity to advance our minds – if we find a way to be joyful regardless of the circumstance, then the next time things are ‘difficult’, we’ll be far more capable of dealing with it unperturbed.

Now that he’s made the powerful step of identifying ‘the enemy’, he can now train his mind to be okay with it. Whenever the unhappiness crops up, he can remember to take confidence in his own ability, to stay in the present, and to remember that the worst case scenario – to a find a new job – is what he would do to change the situation anyway!

Actively challenging a mindset that proclaims unhappiness based on a situation is to strengthen our minds, eliminate fear, and make real the joy of existence. I call this staying in the fire – identifying a situation that you have the power to change, but choosing not to change it, and instead, using it as an opportunity to change yourself.