on doing difficult things

A few years back I read an article in the NY Times about how it’s important to praise kids for working hard, and not just for being smart. Receiving praise encourages behavior, and it’s important to praise kids for the things they can control (hard work), rather than the things they cannot (natural intelligence).

Throughout my life I’ve been aware of a natural desire to do only the things that I’m good at. I used to literally avoid new activities for fear that I wouldn’t be as good or master them as quickly as others. The article helped put this into words, and since then I’ve systematically sought to identify that hesitancy and challenge it by doing exactly the things that make me uncomfortable.

The result has been a pleasure. I’ve discovered that if you ‘stay in it’, you have the power to ‘get good’ at nearly anything – the power of hard work. I’ve literally created new life loves – I love snowboarding, love design, love singing – none of which I’m particularly good at, but that I ventured into purely to challenge my own hesitancy. And most importantly, I’ve gotten closer to internalizing one of life’s most important truths – that I am not my works. That my self-value is not the result of my skillset, my successes, my intelligence. That it is independent of these mortal things, and infinite.