getting past the gap

I'd been a big admirer of a blogger named Dustin Curtis, and sometime back, he wrote this post, about not being able to create anything new. It moved me, and I responded to it. Here's what I wrote to Dustin (email intro omitted):

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I think the first step to escaping 'the gap' is to accept it, fully and immediately. Now, without hesitation. What often paralyzes us is a fear that the product of our hardest labors won't meet others' standards, or worse yet, our own. Thus, in fear, we avoid producing anything. Fear is an irrational consideration of an unpredictable future, and has no utility in the present. When you feel the fear, turn towards it, examine it, accept it, and then abandon it. Continue working, intent on creating in the present.

Consider the following - that every moment you spend thinking about the outcome of your work distracts you from creating the work itself, and thus reduces the quality of the outcome. Thus, fear that our work won't meet our standards is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The creation of great beauty can only be an act of fearlessness. Do not consider for a moment that it won't meet your standards. Just create. And create again. And take pleasure in it.

To go a step further into what may be a ridiculous sounding proclamation - accept that the end result of your creation has already been decided. The object you're creating has already been created. You are simply the tool that existence has chosen to enact this particular reality - take pleasure in the act of observing what existence had in store for you. Take joy in whatever products are created. Revel in the certainty what you're creating is exactly what must be created.

Now, this may sound like bowing down to mediocrity - how can you improve if you take joy in everything you make? Yet, you're lucky - as you know, your taste is your compass. It cannot guide you wrong. In observing your work, your own awareness of its flaws will steady your hand during your next attempt. With joy as your motivation and taste as your compass, the end result can only be beauty. You may have to climb quite a few hills to reach the view at the top of the mountain, but press on.

I hope this rather arbitrary sequence of philosophical encouragement has brought you more strength than sarcasm, and I wish you only the best. Luckily, I'm not worried. I'm certain you'll find your way.

staying in the fire

A friend recently told me about something that was making him unhappy. He works for an event production company in which his role is to first find clients and sell his company’s services, and then to execute the projects he sells. In this industry, one project rarely leads to another, which means he starts from square-one every time – he likened it to the stress of finding a new career every few months. The worst part is that after all his hustle, he only gets a small percentage of the commission.

Identifying the source of a frustration is a powerful step, but people often stop there – they think that once they know what’s wrong, their mental work is done – the only option is to take action to change it. Yet in reality, there are two options – change the situation, or change yourself. Changing yourself can be more difficult, yet often is a longer term solution.

In his situation, he could quit his job and find a new one. This choice has its own risks, but they’re predictable. His other option is to stay in his job and find a way to thrive, regardless of the situation. Every ‘adversity’ offers us an opportunity to advance our minds – if we find a way to be joyful regardless of the circumstance, then the next time things are ‘difficult’, we’ll be far more capable of dealing with it unperturbed.

Now that he’s made the powerful step of identifying ‘the enemy’, he can now train his mind to be okay with it. Whenever the unhappiness crops up, he can remember to take confidence in his own ability, to stay in the present, and to remember that the worst case scenario – to a find a new job – is what he would do to change the situation anyway!

Actively challenging a mindset that proclaims unhappiness based on a situation is to strengthen our minds, eliminate fear, and make real the joy of existence. I call this staying in the fire – identifying a situation that you have the power to change, but choosing not to change it, and instead, using it as an opportunity to change yourself.

destroying to create & improve

In both writing and design, I often find that in order to take a step forward, I must completely abandon everything I’ve already created. This means that either I start again from scratch, or I take the pieces of what I have and totally mangle them until I’ve arrived somewhere vastly different from where I began.

Why is this important? I find that little tweaks and edits are easy, but they rarely result in a huge step forward. Tweaks help optimize something into the best form it can be, but often, a much larger change can transcend the original work altogether. Yet these transformations can be difficult when you’re starting with something that has already been created. You’re hesitant to try new things because it feels like you’re ‘losing’ something if you start from scratch or erase key lines or words already on paper.

Becoming comfortable with destroying your own work to create something better is also metaphor for our minds as well. We are most capable of progress when we allow those ideas and opinions we held dear to be challenged, destroyed, and rebuilt, stronger than before.

why you need to blog

I recently gave a speech about the benefits of blogging. To reap these rewards, there’s a pre-requisite, which is a willful determination to write 5 times a week. If you meet that one criterion, all these other benefits will emerge organically.

First, you’ll improve your writing, and develop the ability to quickly organize a jumbled set of thoughts into a brief, coherent point. More importantly, since you’ll constantly be thinking about what to write next, you’ll be far more likely to hold on to the ideas you have every day. Whereas before a great idea might quickly be forgotten, now you’ll take more care to write things down and flesh them out fully.

You’ll eventually develop pride in what you’re writing, which will make you want people to read it, and you’ll begin to wonder how to make that happen. You’ll discover blog directories & communities, cross-posting & commenting on other blogs, social media marketing & search engine optimization. In this process, you’ll teach yourself web marketing.

Though you may begin with a standard blog template, you’ll quickly notice that other bloggers have better looking blogs, and you’ll wish to develop your own style and template. You’ll teach yourself the basic elements of design, HTML, typeography and most importantly you’ll develop visual taste that will guide you in every aspect of your life.

Finally, aside from developing all these useful, modern skills, and having hundreds of snippets of what could be called ‘the best of yourself’, you’ll have established a powerful personal web identity and brand – you’ll be ‘Googleable’ and when people find you, they’ll like what they find.

What are you waiting for? You could start a blog in 5 minutes. If not now, then when?

the irony of arrogance

Recently I was talking to an entrepreneur complaining about the arrogance of investors he had been speaking to. I actually hear this quite often in the community, and it typically takes a few different forms:

• The investor doesn't think much of your idea
• The investor doesn't seem to take any interest in the conversation
• The investor seems to be more thrilled with his/her own spin on your idea
• The investor never gets back to you or follows up, even when they said they would

There's of course a few obvious elements at play here - some ideas appeal to some investors - finding the right 'match' is crucial. Investors also have overflowing inboxes and too many commitments, so following up can be difficult.

BUT, let's consider this as though it really is a personality thing - pure arrogance. How to deal with arrogant people?

Let's turn to the heart of the issue - why do arrogant people get on our nerves? Because they offend our own ego, which is to say, our own arrogance. Therein lies the irony - that the only people offended by arrogance are those who are arrogant themselves.

Thus, the answer to arrogance is to respond with humulity. To 'be the change we wish to see in the world'. Humble people are powerful because they have such a deep well of self-value that they need not look for it elsewhere (i.e. from other people). They're not offended by arrogance because they don't have the ego for it. Instead, they can learn and respond with an open mind, which of course is far more impressive than the furrowed brow and hollow response of the embittered entrepreneur.